Friday, February 19, 2016

Obituary: Chrysler/Town & Country

Name: Ol' Blue (The Manvan)
Age 14, of Maryland Heights, MO:

Has departed this life for the great scrap yard of the beyond on the day of Thursday, February 19th, 2016, upon a brief altercation with a small white sedan. "The Manvan" died at the scene of the crash as a result of injuries sustained. It can be further noted that the vehicle expired in the shade of Grace (Church, St. Louis...at the intersection in front of it).

Manvan was built...probably in various chunks in the US, Canada, and Mexico in 2002. Surviving are a rapidly decreasing number of rusting, fading, mechanically semi-reliable siblings. Over it's lifetime, Manvan transported many individuals to the best of his ability, despite a head-on collision, and being rear-ended twice...one run-in with a stationary telephone pole, and multiple instances of spilled bodily fluids, sometimes containing food particles.

Ol' Blue, as he was known in earlier life, traveled extensively, carrying many young, attractive, slim, glittery, prancing, dancers in form-fitting outfits, and their equipment; before finally being restrained to hauling an overweight, graying, sometimes rambling, balding, middle-aged musician with his quirky family that often deposited food crumbs. It is believed that the oncoming sedan acted in mercy toward Ol' Blue, seeing his distress, and threw his young, peppy body in front of Ol' Blue, thereby ending the minivan's life.

The Miller family is mourning the loss of Ol' Blue by... Aw forget it. Guess we'll have to replace it. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May He be praised by the use of the possessions He's entrusted us with. They're really just on loan to us anyway.

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