Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Uniquely Me

Have you ever thought about what makes you, you? I have, perhaps more than I should at times. The fact is, I spent many years of my life not being comfortable in my own skin. I figure that everyone does that to an extent...as part of growing up. I always felt like I didn't fit in as a kid. Even as a young adult... My gosh I'm making a demarcation from young adulthood to now! What does this mean!? Uhm, anyway, even as a young adult I wasn't so sure I liked me. I must admit I've went through phases of this even in recent years. (The number of sentences in this blog starting with "I" are starting to annoy me now, so if it is you too, please bare with for a bit.) The fact that some people I viewed as my peers decided quite suddenly and boldly that they no longer liked me probably didn't help any. At times it was painful, which for some that was the intended effect. Others I'll give the benefit of the doubt.

So what about all of this? I'm glad you asked. Well, I tend to be fairly introspective, which perhaps helps motivate me to post to this blog in opposition to my concurrent introvert tendencies. What I've discovered is first of all, I am me, no matter what I want to be like. That's offensive to some, though I usually do not intend to be offensive. Some can't handle a matter-of-fact type person such as myself. At times I've tried to behave differently, but what I've found is while I can change my behavior, I cannot change my personality. The point is, I'm writing this in hopes you will read it and understand what so many studies have confirmed.

Our personality is largely formed when we are very young. I must admit I had a large, sudden change in certain aspects, but I maintain most of this was a change in my character, and still not so much my personality. Think about it. These are different aspects of who we are. Modern psychology has clinically confirmed what we can learn from scripture. That being said, my advice to you is to stop running from who you are, which is who you were meant to be, and instead embrace all of who you were meant to be as a child of God through Jesus Christ.

I'd like to share with you some of the thoughts recorded by a man named David, who once was the king of ancient Israel. He went through much of the same struggle that I've addressed in this post. If you continue reading further than the passage I'm quoting you'll see evidence of some other struggles he was dealing with, but we'll save that for another post.

Psalm 139:1-18
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths,[Sheol] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [or concerning] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

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